How Conscious Leaders Stop Trying to Control the World

Nov 8, 2020 | 15 Commitments, Conscious Leadership

While it may seem like we’re spinning out of control in 2020, the truth that Conscious Leaders know is that we were never in control.

It’s just glaringly obvious right now.

Forget about controlling your colleagues, your family, the weather, your dog (well, a tiny humble brag for my dog, Monty, who is quite obedient.. until he sees a tennis ball).

But you can control yourself

And the Enneagram can help. A personality typing framework, the Enneagram opens a pathway to self-discovery and greater personal awareness. It doesn’t box you in. But it is a powerful way to see where your attention goes — without you even realizing it. It helps you see that focus of attention becomes ingrained. in your behavior.  What that means is that you tend to pay attention to the same things over and over and not see other options.

See your habitual focus, practice catching yourself and do the secret of Conscious Leaders (keep reading)

The Enneagram is a map of nine dynamic ways of being in the world. Each of the nine types has a distinct way of thinking, feeling and behaving that arises from a different motivation.

Here’s one way to look at it.

Imagine walking into a room and notice what are you drawn to, by Enneagram type. 

One = What’s right/wrong

Two = Other people’s needs

Three = Approval for tasks

Four = What’s missing

Five = Intrusion and what others expect

Six = Hazards and what could go wrong

Seven = Pleasant options

Eight = Power and control

Nine = Other people’s agendas

That’s the pattern.  But YOU can choose where to put your attention by asking:

What’s in my control? 

Try this for a week:

  1. On a piece of paper, make two columns, for Can Control and the other, Can’t Control
  2. Every day, write down what you can and can’t control
  3. Focus on the items on the Can Control list
  4. Tip: You may not be able to control an event or someone else’s reaction. But you can control your own reaction and respond, rather than be reactive.

Learn about the Enneagram in my free monthly conversation, where we talk about how your Enneagram types showing up at work and home and using the tools of Conscious Leadership to break through worn out patterns of behavior for new leadership options, no matter where you are on the org chart. Sign up here.