If you really knew me… Sharing about yourself is a practice of Conscious Leadership
Revealing about your inner world liberates your energy and brings you closer to others.
In my women’s business mastermind*, we support each other by celebrating wins, helping each other with business issues and achieving realistic goals. Turns out inner critics can get really loud in a pandemic and goals need some tweaking for us to stay sane these days.
If you really knew me…
This month, we added a few rounds of revealing in which we each complete the sentence stem: If you really knew me, you would know… .
It was the most soul-enriching 10 minutes of my day. In just a few sentences, I learned the true inner state of my colleagues and we shared deep, tightly held experiences in a few breaths. Without judgment, we were simply present for each other. By sharing what had our attention, we grew closer.
Revealing as a Conscious Leadership Practice
Another word for revealing is candor. This practice is a staple of Conscious Leadership. It comes easily to some people and is more difficult for others. The point is allow yourself to be known to others and to shed the armor that keeps you from being close. It is a learned skill that requires courage.
Your Enneagram Type May Be More or Less Open
While it depends on circumstances, Head Types (except 7 who love sharing happy things), privacy conscious Fives and guarded Sixes may be more reluctant. Heart/feeling types, 2, 3, 4 speak up because they tend to want people to know what they are feeling. Body types, 8, 9, 1, may deny their fear about vulnerability, be willing to see all sides, or do it (or not) because it’s the right thing to do.
Revealing About Yourself Releases Your Life Force
Think back to a time that you wanted to say something to a friend or colleague, but you didn’t. When you finally did speak up, from your experience and without blame, chances are you felt a rush of relief in your whole body. Quite literately, you liberated your own life force again. The benefits to self, your team or partner, are huge. It’s pretty reliable that withholding from another person creates distance between you and encourages you to make up stories about them.
What Does Revealing Look Like?
You might reveal about asking your spouse what they wanted from the relationship and were surprised by the positive response. Or that you felt sad about treating someone badly and scared about taking steps to repair the relationship. Or, that you felt embarrassed about something.
Start With People Who Want to be Close to You and Agree to Play
Start with someone who you know you want to be closer with and who wants to be closer to you. WIth agreeing to reveal, like our mastermind members, it’s a given that we want to be closer. If you try this with someone who isn’t ready, you risk getting hurt or rejected.
Don’t reveal to change the other person. Doing so often comes out as blame and criticism.
Keep it short and set a goal to share 10 percent beyond your comfort zone. What can you say in one or two breaths?
For more, see Commitment 4 from The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership