5 Simple Steps to Make A Hard Conversation Easier

Oct 7, 2022 | 15 Commitments, Coaching, Committing, Conscious Leadership, Personal Journey, Play

Difficult Meeting

 

5 Simple Steps to Make A Hard
Conversation Easier

Have you realized you needed to have a difficult conversation, but find yourself making every excuse why now is never the right time?

Tell me if this sounds familiar…

You’ve agonized for days over the talk you need to have with your colleague. But you can’t bring yourself to speak up. And it’s hurting everyone on the team. 

You’re afraid she’ll feel hurt or be mad at you and your relationship will be ruined. Or maybe she’ll even talk badly about you. 

But you feel the cost of staying silent growing. Your stomach hurts and you’ve got a headache.

If any of this rings a familiar bell, you’re not alone. 

As many as seven in 10 U.S. employees would rather stay quiet on important work issues than tackle them directly, according to a study from the professional coaching platform Bravely.

Do you know what will make you a better leader though?

Your willingness to have the “Sweaty 10-Minute Talk.”

This approach emphasizes personal responsibility, curiosity, and a desire to maintain the relationship.

Here are the 5 steps to learning this essential
Conscious Leadership skill

  1. Check in with yourself. What are your emotions? Are you curious? Willing to give up blame and criticism? To give up being right?
  2. Ask the other person if this is a good time to talk. If not, pick another time.
  3. Be clear and kind.  Separate the facts from the story. That means being aware that you are interpreting what happened. Tell the facts and then the stories that you make up about them.
  4. Take 100 percent responsibility. Dig deep to see how your action or inaction contributed to the issue and be courageous in sharing it.
  5. Ask for what you want.

With practice, difficult conversations get easier. And, as my client Jane told me, she began catching the problems while they were small and before they became difficult. 

That’s the beauty here. The more uncomfortable conversations you have, the more comfortable you get having them. 

And as you step into your rightful place as a Conscious Leader, you’ll take them from “No Way” to “No Big Deal!”

For help putting this into action every day and taking your leadership to the next level, reply to this email or book a call with me.

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