Conscious Leadership Means Choosing Being Over Doing

I’ll be off my foot for weeks with upcoming surgery. And I’m creating more anxiety for myself around the recovery than the procedure itself. If you knew me, you’d know that I’ve never excelled at binge-watching or being a couch potato. I’m also really bad at asking for help.  

Surrendering versus Resisting 

I’m seeing this as an opportunity to allow myself to be still and let others help me. I’m surrendering to the experience instead of resisting it. I’m choosing to give myself time and space to heal. 

And, I imagine it will be easy on some days and frustrating on others. And so, I’ll commit and recommit when my natural resistance rises up. 

Taking 100 Percent Responsibility 

It would be easy to feel like a victim of my foot, of the surgery and of the enforced bedrest. But I’m shifting from victim to creator — a conscious leadership master move — by taking 100 percent responsibility for the circumstances of my life and for my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. The mindset of radical responsibility opens the door to new possibilities as I take control of my life instead of living it at the effect of external circumstance.

Allowing Change to Happen 

The second conscious leadership master move I’m focusing on is releasing my resistance to change, which is rooted in fear. I’ve been scared of this surgery, and my foot was working OK, until I hobbled home from a backpacking trip and could hardly walk for weeks. 

The change formula: (V X D)+ F.S. > R =  Change (Vision = Being Physically Active X Dissatisfaction = my foot hurts when I walk) + First Steps = Considering Surgery > Resistance (I’m scared of surgery) 

It got so bad that I couldn’t ignore. Even something as scary as surgery seems easier now that I am bowing to my dissatisfaction with the painful status quo.

Enneagram Type Six Under Stress

I’ve also spent some time looking at my reactions to this through the lens of the Enneagram. This nine-point personality typing system reveals unconscious behavior patterns.

As an Enneagram Type Six (Loyal Skeptic), under stress I’m likely to catch myself in the unhealthy side of Type Three (the Achiever). That’s the Do-er, Over-Doing herself, and Doing it Herself. I’ve been all over that these past few weeks, working to get everything taken care of as if I’ll never walk again — I might have been a little over-focused on this… 

My healthy Type Six growth tends toward the balanced, harmonious, and accepting side of the Type Nine (Mediator/Peacemaker). That’s where the surrender (and my Netflix subscription) comes in. 

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