(V X D)+ F.S. > R =  Change

This is the process that leads to change, whether it’s losing weight or leaving a job you hate.

Many of us have a VISION of our future, but it’s too vague to push us out of our comfort zone. That Vision must be multiplied by enough DISSATISFACTION or pain to overcome our very human fear-based RESISTANCE to CHANGE. Our brain likes to keep things the same.

When that V X D (the Why of change) grows strong enough, add F.S., (FIRST STEPS as the What and How).  That may be enough to overcome Resistance to Change. Check yourself with Willingness Questions (page 303 of The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership). 

My recent challenge with the Change Formula came when my husband and I had been living in California for two years. I went back East to clean out our house for sale. Oh my, did I underestimate the experience! I didn’t anticipate the raw emotion, mental exhaustion of a deep Marie Kondo sort (Joy/No Joy), and the physical toll of packing and moving.

Uncovering My Vision and Feeling the Pain

Cleaning my office, I found a Vision Board from when my sights were set on “Reinventing Mom.” That’s when I first considered moving to California. Four years later, my husband I were steering the car West and into the unknown.

Here’s how the Change Formula played out as I continued stepping into Vision.

Vision: Settling on the West Coast and fully embracing my new life.

Dissatisfaction: Fed up with being a long distance landlord and feeling attached to the East Coast.

First Steps: Talking with my husband and kids. Getting clear with myself about the cost of holding onto the house meant to fully embracing my next chapter.

Resistance: The fears, including: could I be a supportive daughter from afar? Would my kids come to California for family holidays? And what happens when I give up the distraction of being a landlord, which I’m good at, but don’t love?

Change:  As my Vision of the fullness of my life grew, my Resistance diminished. Then my mom broke her hip. My brothers and I met to make a support plan. My brothers live close to my parents. They agreed to do the heavy lifting. All I had to do was challenge my story. For me as the oldest child, the only daughter, (and a loyal Enneagram Six), moving cross country equaled abandonment (page 48, The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks). No one ever suggested that, except me. My mom misses me, but I visit, we talk on the phone and I share lots of pictures of my California life.

Would you like to create a Vision, dig into Dissatisfaction and take those First Steps to face your fears and make the change you want?  Book a free 30-minute Catalyst Session here.